I must decrease

(After the original post on April 17th . . .it is now June 24th . . . .welcome to my life and a snapshot of how much "extra blogging time" I've had).

To anyone who stumbles upon this blog . . . you will not be able to follow it.

davidsliker David Sliker

by kaylieendress

What if we could say, "He must increase, I must decrease" from a place of true awestruck wonder, rather than false humility & self-loathing?

I've been wanting to blog for weeks but have been at a loss for words. Only feelings. Deep, heart-pounding feelings. Just the sense that "there is something here of substance." I have not yet put my finger on it, so I've been writing this blog in stages, and it may never be finished. This is the same feeling I had one night as I walked through Uptown Normal by myself. The art geeks were congregated outside the uptown gallery. Inside were pictures of ordinary, everyday people: Some were sitting in lawn chairs in their yard. Others were eating breakfast. Some pictures featured recovering alcoholics. Others featured recent graduates.

This semester at ISU has been one of those seasons of which I will never comprehend the depth of its impact. I learned so many enormously small, horrifically beautiful things. . . . Some of which may not reach realization for another ten or twenty years.

In birthing stages of this blog, I'm posting nothing but pictures. These are super ghetto style (from my phone), and they were taken at several points throughout the semester.

{I like this guy}

A major change that occurred this semester involves Parker Thompson. The roller coaster that the Lord has taken us on has been absolutely exhilarating, and I'll have to save those stories for another blog. Long story short, this man has taught me how to trust and wait patiently on the Lord.

{gma & gpa Leslie}

I loved coming home to my family. Over spring break, Grandma and Gramps (Leslie) took me to CJ's and then to the old candy shoppe where gramps worked as a kid. These two are God-ordained caregivers. Simply put, they are the epitome of love-in-action.

{riding with Jada . . . despite her pain}

A huge chunk of my heart and prayers have belonged to Jada this semester. She is always teaching me new things. Over spring break, I went on a bike ride with her . .but we had to stop often because her leg hurt :( In a recent conversation with her, we had a great talk about our sin and God's faithfulness. Her love for Jesus shines so brightly

{boasting}

This picture (although made in jest) is representative of my pride . . .a sin that destroys so ravenously. Over this past semester . . and really the whole school year, the lord has revealed layer after layer of my pride. It. is. massive. And it crucifies our witness.

{joy and crown}

This is one of my besties (Mandy Wirtjes) who LOVES JESUS. She was baptized this semester at Harvest and is currently serving in Mississippi with Relevant ministries. Check out her blog by clicking on her name above. When I watched her baptism, I could not help but think of Paul's love for his fellow believers when he called them his "joy and crown." I love you, Mandoo, and you teach me a lot.

{eternity is ten minutes away}

Some pictures ARE worth 1000 words, and others are worth more. This girl has been my accountability partner for the last 4.5 years and . . . . well . . . we've been through a lot. This past semester has been the most intense (sin, self, redemption, prayer, love, rejoicing, weeping). You name it, we did it. She always reminds me that in the scope of things, "eternity is ten minutes away."

{send re-enforcements}

My spring semester at ISU was one of the toughest academic semesters I've had. The lord humbled me as I received not only my first, but my second B. These are some fruit gummies that my roomie so lovingly packed for one of my psychotic study sessions at Milner. During finals week, the library is open 24/7 . . . yeah.

{all things new}

This is one of my favorite pictures. On April, 25th, 2011 my roomie (Sam) gave her heart to Jesus. I've learned a lot from her and we've had some hard but beautiful conversations. She saw my pride in action as I struggled with my grades. One day I just put a reminder on my bulletin board "Grades are not everything. Where is your Joy?" And then to put some icing on the cake, Sam added "God plans, not you." This was right next to my "schedule" that was color-coded with all means of obsessive planning. . . Ok, so I have a LOT to learn.

I know that this blog is really random and spotty . . . maybe I should not finish blogs 2 months after they are started. The end of the matter is this: fear God and keep his commandments. The problem is that we have BIG sin. So we need a BIG saviour.

"I'm forever wanting to GO somewhere with God. But I forget that in order for that to happen, God has to do something to make me want to leave where I am."

-Beth Moore