When in Doubt, Repent

Tonight was one of those nights where the Word was especially piercing. It did not particularly have to do with what I was reading. Just hearing His voice spoken through His word was enough.

Recently I've been kind of frustrated with myself. I feel like I just can't get anything right. Not fast enough. Not smart enough. Not disciplined enough. Not conscientious enough. Trying to be an adult in this world but not really knowing what that looks like. I can get pretty self centered.

That's when I remembered my promise! "To blog by Sunday night." Well, I have an hour to spare!

The Lord has graciously taken me through some spiritual valleys lately. In light of that, I have been reading "A Shepherd looks at Psalm 23" by W. Phillip Keller. He was a shepherd himself, so he explains some of the connections a shepherd such as David might have made as he wrote Psalm 23. I just finished chapter 7, "Even though I walk through the valley." Keller explained 3 reasons why a shepherd would lead his sheep through a valley.

1. It is the best way: Often the terrain is more smooth and gradual when sheep are led through the valleys. Climbing straight up the rocky crags is dangerous. A Good Shepherd knows the valley like the back of his hand. He has already examined every twist and turn and will lead his flock safely through it.

2. It is the well watered route: Where does water always flow? Downstream. The riches of God's mercy flow to the deepest places.

3. There you will find the richest feed: Where there is water, there is rich pasture. Isn't that so true? My sweetest and deepest communion with God is always in the valley.


I know all of that is true, but words are just words unless the Holy Spirit intervenes. As I went to bed, my heart was rummaging through the events of the day... .grumbling against God for the "rut" I was in.... hostility towards people I love for "getting in my way"... just a spirit of ugliness. As I laid down to read before bed, this nastiness was bubbling in me and I thought (in the words of my nephew-to-be, Kaden) "Dat yucky!"

That's when I opened up to Parker and I's Psalm for the day and it cut me like a knife.

Thank you Lord for conviction. Thank you Lord for repentance.

Did you know that conviction and repentance are gifts?



I watched  Les Mis for the 3rd and 4th times this weekend and it is such a beautiful story of grace and repentance. As I watch, I ask the question "How do people respond so differently to grace?" My favorite scene is Valjean's "conversion." I get chills every time when he sings:

"Take an eye for an eye.
Turn your heart into stone.
This is all I have lived for.
This is all I have known"

Isn't that the way of the world? My heart ached tonight thinking of people dear to my heart who are stuck on the other side of that confession.


Why did Valjean change? Why did Javert end his life? The mercy of the priest made Valjean's heart soft and pliable, and Valjean's grace only darkened Javert's soul. (My brother-in-law-to-be wrote a great blog about it).

Why do people respond to grace so differently? Are you stuck there tonight? Is your heart cold as stone?


God's Righteous Judgment - Romans 2: 2-5
2 Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. ² We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. ³ Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God? ⁴ Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience,not knowing that God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance? ⁵ But because of your hard and impenitent heart you are storing up wrath for yourself on the day of wrath when God's righteous judgment will be revealed. 


Duh Lys. You need to repent. You need to keep a short account with God. Saying "the prayer" once does not make you a believer. Are you frustrated? Are you tired? Are you confused? Are you restless? Are you a human? Chances are you need to repent. Now I'm not talking about some hypersensitive slavery to the law. I'm talking about getting closer to the Shepherd. Remember what Keller said about valleys? They bring us closer to God. So does repentance.

Matthew 3: John the Baptist addresses the Pharisees and Sadducees (religious jerks)

⁷ But when he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees coming to his baptism, he said to them,“You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the wrath to come? ⁸ Bear fruit in keeping with repentance. ⁹ And do not presume to say to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham as our father,’ for I tell you, God is able from these stones to raise up children for Abraham. ¹⁰ Even now the axe is laid to the root of the trees. Every tree therefore that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. ¹¹ “I baptize you with water for repentance, but he who is coming after me is mightier than I, whose sandals I am not worthy to carry. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire. ¹² His winnowing fork is in his hand, and he will clear his threshing floor and gather his wheat into the barn, but the chaff he will burn with unquenchable fire.”


It's not about keeping a checklist of good deeds. It's about being baptized in the spirit. (Identifying yourself with Jesus... being CLOSE to Him). Your heart cannot be close to Jesus if you are unrepentant. When God has mercy on me and shows me my sin, that is a CHANCE to take Him at His word. At that moment, He offers a heart of flesh in exchange for a heart of stone.

 Ezekiel 36:26  "I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh."

 Repentance is a response to the Spirit's conviction on our life. It is a complete turn FROM sin and TO Christ. Taking revenge and having a stone cold heart is not hard. That is where our sinful nature will gravitate.  Repentance is impossible without the Spirit. That is why we need Him.

Where are you tonight?

Are you not trusting God? You need to repent.
Are you you irritable and frustrated? You need to repent.
Are you dissatisfied with the life He's given you? You need to repent


 I know that's where I was.

Was.

Now I'm on the other side, thank's to the Spirit.

Thank you Jesus, for the gift of repentance.