I do not know how to pray for this child

The scary world that today's children face has often tempted me towards celibacy. Tonight I realized that it's impossible to go through life unattached to the heart of a child.

Tonight, my dear friend Jada found out she has cancer. She is five years old.

Five years ago I began a mentorship with my youth pastor's wife, Jessica. Baby Jada would waddle around her kitchen table feeding us fake food, giggling, and receiving the occasional "glue stick swat."

I remember when she started using cute phrases like "pretty daddy" and "healing, healing, healing." Visions of Jada dancing during worship time at the cabin spin through my head. With one chubby hand she would grasp her sippy and blankie, and the other hand would be thrust toward her saviour as she worshipped with all hear heart.

I remember when she started talking . . .really talking. And we became great friends. She grew more shy at the cabin but she would still sit with "Lyssie" sometimes.

Over the years her chub rolls started to fade and she went from asking me to read her books to reading books for me. Instead of me teaching her some new worship songs, she was teaching me fresh views of faith, love, and the gospel. Her passion for Christ never ceases to amaze me. She absolutely loves Jesus and she is crazy about spreading his name and glory.

Now Jada is a young woman . . .or at least it seems like that to me! She looks so much like her beautiful mommy. I can't believe she's only 5! Nevertheless, she teaches me more than I teach her.

Maybe that's why I felt like I was punched in the stomach tonight . . . that and my heart simply breaks for dear Doug and Jess and precious Ollie. Lord, you are good . . .we know that . . .but this just blows my mind! I know your power is made perfect in weakness, and right now I just can't sleep. I can't bring myself to believe or comprehend that there is cancer in her little body. I just can't. I thank you and praise you for making her and having a plan in all of this.

But for tonight . . . I just can't sleep.

My mind drifts to a song by Sara Groves called "Prayers for this Child." I have often expressed to others my fear of having children . . . well first you have to carry them for 9 months, and then you give birth . . .and that's just the beginning! They keep you up at night while simultaneously winning your heart. They break all of your things and sometimes they break your heart. They are born into a world that scares you half to death.

Lord, I cannot comprehend what Doug and Jess are feeling right now. Golly . . .how did YOU feel when your SON was on the CROSS? You just plopped him down on earth . . in sin and error pining. The thought we call to mind . . . and for this reason we hope . . .that you, O God are seated on your heavenly throne. You are sovereign and you hold Jada tonight.

For Jess,

Prayers for this Child- sara groves

http://ilike.myspacecdn.com/play#Sara+Groves:Prayers+For+This+Child:15332097:s60619215.14352139.1335855.0.2.281%2Cstd_a813969f4f4f441ea35072ce45d2f267

I do not know how I am to pray for this child
as a mother I don't want my baby denied
but in the waiting in the waiting
I learned

every instinct in me wants to shield him from pain
take the arrows of misery, heartache and blame
but in the sorrow in the sorrow
I learned to hold on

I only have two eyes - be all seeing
I only have two hands - be everywhere
I do not know enough - to be all knowing
I give this baby up into your care

I do not know how, how to pray for this child
I want to guard her from everything wicked and wild
but in the trial in the trial
I learned to hold on
And in the trial, in the trial
I learned to hold on to the heart of God