I was reading a "secret" blog that I have. No one else has ever seen it. I keep in it the thoughts between God and I.
I plan to some day share them with one person, but for now, they stay hidden. Today, I'm showing just a "chunk" of it here on my blog. It reminded me to "consider the height from which you have fallen." I need new perspective. I so quickly forget the TRUTH that God has for us. Notice that I'm NOT showing the entries where I'm complaining to the LORD and asking Him if He knows what He's doing. . . :)
Lord,
I am forever running. I am forever seeking and wanting. I am forever in
this state that cries "more, more, MORE!" How can I so easily lust after the
things of this world? . . . People, places, positions? How can I slip so easily
into that cycle of sin and self? We as humans are pros at obsession. Yeah . . .
that's what I am . . .obsessed. I am constantly obsessed with something:
running, friends, family, grades, piety . . .something. And then there are some
times that I am obsessed with you: my one, true obsession . . . or are
you?
Man, this is such a hard question. I want to be asked that question and
joyfully and triumphantly cry "YOU LORD! It's YOU! Oh dear Jesus it has always
been you, my love. It will forever be you. How could it not be you, dear
Jesus!?!"
Why do I throw up my hands in the face of Christian Hedonism as if I were a
lost puppy without a clue? I know darn well how to be obsessed. I know how to
eat, sleep, and breathe a singular thing. I know how to worship. . . .So why is
it so hard to worship you? While I appreciate Piper's view of Christian
Hedonism, I believe there is a distinct difference that must be noted: our self.
The obvious difference between worldly hedonism and Christian hedonism is the
direction of focus. . . . (self-indulgence vs. Christ). However, there is still
a slight scent of self in Christian hedonism "Christ is what will fulfill me the
most." But aye, here's the rub! God commands it!
In Psalm 37 we are told to delight ourselves IN the LORD so he can give us
the desires of our heart (which would be in effect . . His desires . . or
essentially HIM.) In Psalm 119 the psalmist says he delights in the word. So we
see this command by God sprinkled throughout scripture to "Worship the lord" and
"love the lord with all your heart." Gee . . .really humble of you, God. Right?
Wrong!
Number 1, YOU ARE GOD! Who is gonna try to tell you any different . . .well
. . .lots of people will try but fail. And number 2, I can trust that your
command for me to worship you is the best thing for me because you NEVER cease
to be God. You NEVER act outside of your character. You are ALWAYS loving which
means that in effect, you ALWAYS give to me what you know will satisfy me
FOREVER . . . and the only thing that fits that description is YOU. As Piper
says "Worship is the consummation of joy." Who would want to love someone for
the rest of their life but not be able to tell them or express it? My love for
you is made complete in my worship, and that brings me great joy.
Therefore, the most loving command you can give me is to worship you!
Because in that state of holiness and purity, I am most satisfied, and I am
relentlessly pursuing a well that never runs dry. THAT is Christian hedonism,
right? So I guess the difference between worldy and Christian hedonism is that
the former seeks to worship self and may (in small amounts) produce a byproduct
that benefits another person. [however, God always gets his glory so no matter
who we purpose in our hearts to worship, he will always reap infinite glory from
it. . . . I love the efficiency of God!] Conversely, the latter (Christian
hedonism) seeks to worship CHRIST and WILL in LARGE amounts produce a byproduct
that benefits self (joy, peace, sanctification, influence, knowledge, wisdom,
discernment . . .need I go on?)
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