5 Reasons I'm NOT patient. 1 Reason I am

One of my deepest sin issues is impatience.

Im.pa.tient

1. Not patient: restless or short of temper especially under irritation, delay, or opposition
2. Intolerant

I could give you a lot of proof, but I'll give you 5 good ones

I.)  I pee while toasting my bread: I think it was around high school when I started an obsessive breakfast routine. Often times, I will plan out my breakfast prep so as to make as few trips across the kitchen as possible. I'm too impatient to wait for bread to toast, so I try to do everything else while my bread is toasting so that it pops out as soon as I'm ready.  (ok so maybe that's normal)

II.) Seconds mean something in a red-light situation: I cannot stand "city driving." I hit every single red light. Somehow I think that zig-zagging through traffic and passing that extra Buick will save soooo much time. . . Then I get stuck at a light and the Buick saunters right up behind me. (Maybe I can just make a "joke" about how I have "road rage." Because that's funny?)

III.) Are you sure you have 20 items or less? Sometimes Walmart makes me come unglued. There is a lot of truth, shame, and immaturity in that statement. (You've been there.)

IV.) I'm afraid of getting old. I feel like old people are really good at waiting for things. They are so content sitting with a cup of coffee and watching flowers grow. I'm afraid I'm going to get bored because there are "so many things I could be getting done."(This could also be considered ignorance, pride, selfishness?....)

V.) I care about you...When I have time. This is a huge internal struggle for me. I get so wrapped up in "getting to the next thing" that I have a really hard time listening when I'm busy. If I'm honest with myself, I am so focused on my "timeline" that you are currently an inconvenience, and I fail to see you as what God created you to be. 

I've been reading When Sinners Say "I Do" by Dave Harvey and I'm learning a lot. In chapter 8, he focuses on Titus 2:11-14: 

"For the GRACE of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, WAITING for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to REDEEM us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works."

Harvey points out that grace is personified as a "teacher-turned-coach." The GRACE of God teaches us to be patient, loving, trustworthy, faithful, etc. One thing that grace teaches is "The power to wait."

"Sanctifying grace settles our souls so that here in this waiting room [between the 1st and 2nd coming of Christ] we can both work and wait, trusting that God is exercising his perfect will..."

My impatience- as with ALL sin- is disbelief in God. Disbelief in God's ability to save. Disbelief in God's perfect timing and plan. THIS is why the "old people" are good at waiting. They know that passing that extra Buick will not make a difference because it won't matter at the next light. The tried and tested Saints of Christ have tasted and KNOWN that the Lord is good and they understand "long-suffering." There is no use in getting uptight or worrying if "this too shall pass" because it always has and it always will. They understand the grace and goodness of God and they know there is no use in trying to "run ahead" of God's plan. 

The GRACE of God. The Gospel (Good News of Christ Victorious). This is the ONE reason that I CAN be and AM patient. That is Christ in me, the hope of glory. 

I want to learn how to wait. Oh God of GRACE, be my teacher. Let me rest in quiet trust... it is better that way. Kill my pride, self-righteousness, distrusting anxiety, and self-pity. Teach me to wait. 

".... In the end, all the countless waits, large and small, and the hopes that accompany them, are part of our greater waiting and our ultimate hope."